The Final: Bear Tooth vs. Hula Hands

This is it folks! The showdown between the two finalists in my March Madness tourney of Anchorage restaurants. All that is left is Bear Tooth and Hula Hands, and given my affinity for these two places it isn't surprising. It's been a long road and I appreciate everyone reading, and I'm looking forward to getting back to my regular programming. This was a hell of a thing to do.

No less, on with the show. Who will take the crown as the best restaurant in Anchorage (according to me)? Find out below.

Bear Tooth: Let's get back to the facts about Bear Tooth. It's a restaurant that serves inventive and delicious meals that come in at reasonable prices (between $11 and $15 for the most part). It features two actual restaurants really, with the grill side serving things like Halibut Tacos and Moroccan Chicke, while the other side serves a Moose's Tooth like collection of pizzas along with burritos, nachos and other things. The service is very good, with the wait staff being friendly and mostly young hipster types. They serve beer, wine and liquor, and high class versions of all three no less. Nearly all of these previously stated facts can be combined with a movie (in which you can eat/drink during) or the occasional concert (in which you can drink but you have to eat before).

I mean come on, that's ridiculous.

Yet it has a fairly prevalent negative, and perhaps the only real negative of this final in my mind: wait times. Just like Moose's Tooth, you can expect the occasionally ridiculous wait. While that doesn't kill the experience, it does bring it down a notch or two.

Hula Hands: This place is so locked in it's unreal. Their food always tastes exactly as good as it did the previous time (incredibly good, in case you were wondering). The food is served unbelievably fast (3 to 5 minutes) and with a smile. The prices are extremely reasonable, getting down to around $7.50 for a plate with a huge serving of Kahlua Pig and mac salad/rice. They have two locations, one in Mountain View and one off Fireweed. They served a surprisingly robust selection of beer (La Fin Du Monde!) at good prices, as well as a nice wine list.

This place is perpetually surprising. It has no negatives in my mind and the worst experience I've had is better than most of the ones I've had at other restaurants on this list. In short, this place kicks ass.

The Showdown: Oh man, this is it. This is the ultimate matchup. Do you take Bear Tooth, the joint that is so versatile its absurd and can give you peak Anchorage dining experiences but also can make you wait for it at great lengths? Or do you take the metronome like consistency of Hula Hands, providing tasty food at crazy fast speeds and extremely reasonable prices?

I'll leave the decision to situational greatness. If it was someone's birthday and I was going to offer to take them to dinner where would I go? If I wanted to celebrate something in general, where would I go? Assuming no wait at both spots, where would I go? If it was my last meal, who would I want food from?

While slow and steady wins races with tortoises and hares, that doesn't work here. In the Anchorage restaurant scene, the hare wins, and the hare is Bear Tooth. In my mind, Bear Tooth is the best Anchorage dining has to offer.

The Winner: Bear Tooth

Final Four Matchup #2: Hula Hands vs. Gumbo House

One finalist is set as Bear Tooth is entrenched in the first slot, but who will they face? The Hawaiian delight of Hula Hands or the Southern comfort provided by Gumbo House? Both are lunch favorites. Both provide special versions of comfort foods. But there can only be one! Who will it be?!

Find out below.

Hula Hands: After dining at Hula Hands at their bar (a tiny little nook up by the kitchen), I've now pretty much had every experience I can get at this restaurant. I went with my friend Eric and I had my standard food (Kahlua Pig and Pulehu Chicken with mac salad and rice) while Eric took a stab at adventure (fried poke - tuna that is flash fried and raw in the middle - with mac and rice), and unsurprisingly both meals were fantastic. We even had a pitcher of Midnight Sun Brewing Co's. Sockeye Red IPA with it, and it paired to be an exceptional meal.

Even with a restaurant full of people thanks to the review the Anchorage Daily News wrote on Friday, our service was still very friendly and very fast. It consistently astounds me how a place can be so quick and so delicious no matter how busy they are. They must have the most well run kitchen that has ever been created.

So why did I write about this one experience? Because this is how it always is at Hula Hands. I'll stop raving about them when they give me a reason to. I don't see that time coming any time soon.

Gumbo House: When my Dad and I go to Gumbo House, the man who (I believe) owns the restaurant as well as serves every table always comes to us and knows what we want regardless of however long it's been since we were last there.

Owner: "Fried Chicken Poboy isn't on special today."
Us: "Come on, you know we love it."
Owner: "Ugh...let me see if the kitchen is okay with it."

The answer is always yes to a question they have no reason to say yes to. They always give us this food that isn't even on their menu just because they have genuinely great service. That the fried chicken poboys are almost comically good (I choose to think the combo of mayo and fried chicken isn't making my heart hurt, it's making my heart sing) is almost just icing on the cake here. The food is superb, they have a great spot, and they deliver! Come on now! This place is as gold as their delicious corn muffins.

The Showdown: This is like choosing between my unborn sons Biscuits and Gravy (yes, that is right. I plan on naming one child "Biscuits" and the other "Gravy". Have I mentioned I'm available ladies?). Superb, inexpensive comfort food that is incredibly close to me and served with a smile and unwavering speed. It's ridiculous.

However, when it gets down to it Hula Hands does everything just a little bit better and I simply like Hawaiian food more than Southern food. And I love my Southern food, or my middle name isn't Leroy (that is actually true).

So sorry to Gumbo House, but Hula Hands moves on to the final.

Hula Hands will meet Bear Tooth in the finale tomorrow!

General Bracket #1 Final: Taco King vs. Hula Hands

The first General Bracket was an eclectic one, which is why it's not surprising that these two highly disparate restaurants made it. However, when you get down to it they make sense: both Taco King and Hula Hands are just damn good restaurants. But which will make the illustrious Final Four of Anchorage restaurants? Let's find out.

Taco King: Anchorage is not a city that is rich in Mexican restaurants, so the exceptional simplicity, superb flavors, and inexpensive meals at Taco King are a delight for me. I long debated with my friends about the superiority of Benny's Food Wagon over this joint, but after eating at both of them for years it became clear that Taco King is just better. Whether you're there to see the King (Burrito) or the Queen (Tostada), you're in for a treat. This is a place that can make some damn tasty food.

Throw in three locations (one is just minutes from my place) AND delivery, and you have a place that's always a winner in my heart.

Hula Hands: Just a recent addition to my dining repetoire, Hula Hands has captured my heart. Since my college experience at Moscow, Idaho's Loco Grinz, I've had an affinity for Hawaiian food. Hula Hands has done the impossible and nearly rivaled that joint in deliciousness, giving me a diverse menu filled with crazy delicious food. Not only that, but it's inexpensive, crazy filling, filled with friendly servers, insanely fast, and they serve beer!

I mean come on, what do they not do?! They even have two locations, including one that is super close to my house, making them all the better.

The Showdown: On paper, this is a tight matchup. Two places that have a lot of positives and almost no negatives, but when it gets down to the bottom line it's no question: Hula Hands wins. I prefer Hawaiian food, it's uniformly great, and it is a truly unique establishment in the Anchorage dining community. As great as Taco King is, it gets shown up in no time by Hula Hands.

General Bracket #1 Winner: Hula Hands

General Bracket #1 (Round 2): (1) Dish vs. (5) Taco King PLUS (6) Hula Hands vs. (7) Bombay Deluxe

Today we have the two second round matchups in the first General Bracket, as we have a showdown between the king of Anchorage Asian dining in Dish and the Mexican delight Taco King, and a matchup between the Hawaiian favorites Hula Hands and the tops in Indian food Bombay Deluxe. Lots of matchups, lots of delicious, but there can only be two to leave this showdown to make the Elite Eight of Anchorage restaraunts. Who will they be?!

Matchup #1
Dish: Much to the chagrin of my coworker Dale, Dish took the first round win against Thai Orchid. To me though, it was a fairly easy matchup to decide because Dish just doesn't really do anything too wrong. They have a diverse and quality menu, their service is friendly, nice atmosphere, good location (close to my work), and are not too horribly priced. Plus, they're great with big parties.

One of their big problems though is they really don't blow me away that often. Save their extremely fresh tasting fish (unagi!), nothing stands out for them. Plus, there is the immediate issue with sushi for me: I simply don't want to eat it all of the time. It's more of a whimsical choice for me, which isn't their fault but a natural issue with their establishment.

Taco King: Ohhhhh Taco King. You're so reliable. Taco King is methodical in its crazy consistency, always being good, always being fairly inexpensive, and seemingly always hitting the spot. Plus they deliver, have three locations, and are fairly close to me. Throw in the fact that they have a go-to dish for me (Queen Tostada for the win!) and this is a pretty spotless little guy. While it's not a place where you're like "oh man, this is the best food I've ever had", there is something to be said about being always good. Taco King - you are always good.

The Showdown: For the simple reason that Mexican food is more consistently on my mind than sushi, Taco King wins. It's more consistent, it's way more inexpensive, it's crazy fast (I once ordered and ate in 9 minutes at Taco King), and they deliver! Taco King just does more right. I know many will disagree, but too bad. This is my competition after all!

Matchup #2
Hula Hands: Hula Hands has quickly jumped up the ranks of my go-to restaurants for a lot of reasons. Inexpensive and delicious food, go-to meals, surprisingly great beer list, close proximity to my place, extremely quick turnaround, plus I just love Hawaiian food. They also have almost absurdly friendly service...the place is just a gem. I can't really find any negatives in their formula, and for that reason they are a sneaky awesome contender of this tournament.

And for those that haven't eaten there...shame on you! This place is awesome. Get on that!

Bombay Deluxe: While I really enjoy Bombay Deluxe and their tasty meals and the crazy good Naan, they have huge negatives like the scary service that is the norm at their establishment. I'm not even going to pretend this is close.

The Showdown: Complete and utter domination. This is like Cornell versus Wisconsin. Hula Hands is a near perfect lunch/dinner spot for me, while Bombay Deluxe has more holes than the Indiana Pacers roster. Which makes me sad because I'm a Pacers fan.

Sigh...

General Bracket #1: (3) Falafel King vs. (6) Hula Hands

This throwdown features two of the more forgotten types of food in Anchorage: Middle Eastern vs. Polynesian/Hawaiian. Both are epic in their deliciousness. Both are poorly represented in the city. Yet both of these restaurants are great. Who will win in this showdown between Falafel King and Hula Hands? The answer may surprise you.

Or not. That remains to be seen.

Falafel King: This tiny, tiny joint off of Gambell and...street that will not be named is a pretty simple one in options (falafel, schwarma, schnitzel), but definitely not simple in flavor or in serving. I mean, whether you're throwing down any of their three primary foods, you know you're going to be filled when you're done. Their schwarma is so packed to the gills in meat, veggies, more meat, tahini, more meat, and veggies that you'll a) need to wear a bib and b) grow a second stomach to handle the amount you get. Not only that, but everything is mixed and matched perfectly to hit the apex of tasty, satisfying you to the very last bite. Plus, it's served with a smile generally, as the main woman who works there is very sweet.

The biggest problems with this place is that it is often impossible to predict when it will be open. I'll go there during regular hours and they will have a sign that says "returning in 5 minutes" that rarely actually reflects the amount of time they will be gone. On top of that. I wasn't kidding about the bib. This is maybe the single most messy food in town. If you can successfully eat a lamb schwarma without evacuating its back end all over yourself, you're a greater person than I. A bib probably isn't a proper recommendation. A hazmat suit might be more fitting.

Hula Hands: Just typing those nine letters made me hungry. That's how you know it's good. This place serves Hawaiian classics (note: my all-time favorite restaurant was a Hawaiian place in Moscow, Idaho) like Kahlua Pig, Pehelu Chicken, Spam and Eggs, and more, and all of it is absurdly delicious. Meals are paired with the classic combination of white rice and mac salad, and it's as delectable and simple as you can get. On top of that, it's inexpensive and remarkably fast - I once got my food in 3 minutes on a packed evening. Crazy.

They also have an amazing beer and wine selection for such a small place (La Fin Du Monde!), have incredible service, and are located two minutes from my place. Are there negatives to this place? ARE THERE??!

The Showdown: I love me some Falafel King. It fills a niche that I haven't really met since I left Europe, in which little shops like them are on every street corner. Yet, Hula Hands hits one of my favorite food varieties and does it as negative free as everyone with a lot of roaring positives. As I mentioned, I have a bit of a Pavlovian response just to their name and may actually be forced to eat there today because I love it so much. Sorry Falafel King, you went up against one of the fastest risers in the entire tournament.