Fancy Bracket Final: (1) Simon and Seafort's vs. (3) Club Paris

Here it is...the Fancy Bracket final. It pits the #1 remaining seed Simon and Seafort's against downtown rival for high end dining Club Paris. They both have their advantages, but who earns my dollar when the time comes for reservations? You'll find out below.

Simon and Seafort's: Simon's is the 800 pound gorilla of this bracket, as it carries with significant history, a great location and view, a really nice menu, a bar that is superb, and one of the best happy hours in town. I mean, this place brings it in every facet a restaurant can bring it in. It's earned the praise it has gotten throughout the years and has managed to treat customers with respect even with the towering praise (that was half a Simon's compliment and half a Marx Brothers slam).

But at the same time, their signature dish is the macademia encrusted, crab stuffed halibut...very good, but does it top Club Paris?

Club Paris: Steeped in a history that goes back to the yesteryear of Anchorage, Club Paris has stayed old school as everyone around them has amped up the modern appeal.  It works for them, as the dimly lit dining area, classic bar, and throwback menu (meat...and various forms of it) really accentuates their greatness. I mean, this is a place that just feels like something out of a movie, and it's appeal is entirely understood by yours truly.

Plus, they make the meanest steak in the city as well as the only burger that rivals Tommy's (and possibly surpasses it on some days) with their filet mignon burgers. Sure it's dimly lit, but it is also incredibly delicious.

The Showdown: All around goodness or doing two things really well? It's a toss up, but I'm going to go on the same idea that the actual NCAA tournament goes off of: if you can do one or two things extremely well, odds are you'll win. While Simon's brings B+ game across the board, Club Paris and their two big A+'s make this an easy decision for me.

Fancy Bracket Winner: Club Paris

Fancy Bracket (Round 2): (1) Simon and Seafort's vs. (4) Orso Ristorante

Two of the absolute titans of Anchorage dining square off today, as Simon and Seafort's bring their historic greatness up against Orso Ristorante and their hip mix of the new and old classics. Who will win this battle for the ages? Let's break down the advantages each restaurant brings to the equation.

Simon and Seafort's:
Advantages

• Go to meal in the crab stuffed, macademia encrusted halibut
• Better Happy Hour
• Fantastic View
• Slightly better parking situation
• More seating (arguably)
• More expansive menu

Orso Ristorante:
Advantages

• Better overall atmosphere
• Less stodgy
• Better desserts
• Slightly better bar
• Better wait staff (aka cuter)

The Showdown: Each restaurant brings their own advantages to the table that makes them good options for the discerning restauranteer (I may have just invented that word), but it's a simple fact to me: Simon's makes better food. While Orso is perhaps better for drinks and dessert and extremely casual meals, if I have a hankering for a damn tasty meal that only Chad Ochocinco dollars can handle, Simon's is near the top of my list.

Fancy Bracket: (2) Marx Brothers vs. (7) Mixx Grill

This matchup is a showdown between one of the most renowned names in classy dining in Anchorage and some small, upscale restaurant in the Inlet Towers hotel. Odds are it should be a blowout, with Marx Brothers long earning the esteem of the Anchorage Illuminati and Mixx Grill being a bit of an unknown quantity. Let's take a look at the two contenders.

Marx Brothers: The classy of the classy, this restaurant is located on 3rd in a quaint house that has resided in that same spot for a long time. Fabled for their brilliant individual displays of entree arts and their renowned-by-everyone Caesar salad that is made in front of you, this is the Kentucky Wildcats of the tournament. A sleeping giant, and one that is a permanent contender. Just like Kentucky though, I posit this question about Marx Brothers: what have you done for me lately? Kentucky hasn't won anything in 12 years, while Marx Brothers has been a disappointment in my recent experiences. Over-priced (but well made) entrees, overrated specialties (really, that was the best Caesar salad in town?), and stodgy, oppressive atmosphere. You go in there as a young person and they look at you like you showed up to the wrong restaurant, as if their face says "you do know this isn't Humpy's, don't you?" Can we start an overrated chant now?

OVER-RATED, clap, clap, clap clap clap. OVER-RATED, clap, clap, clap clap clap.

I do want to note, this analogy is flawed because Marx Brothers has nothing on their menu that matches the transcendant skills of John Wall.


Mixx Grill: This restaurant is small, unassuming, and for the most part hidden. In fact, I had no idea it even existed until my good friend Amy moved into the neighborhood it exists at. Within this restaurant is a small but well crafted menu, an oddly hip atmosphere, entertaining servers, and a quality bar. Perhaps it is the company I always share there, but I've yet to have a bad experience at Mixx. It even earned the catchphrase "want to Mixx it up?" between Amy and I whenever we wanted to go back. They're like Princeton's 90's squads who were entirely designed around back screening the living hell out of everyone: we've got one move and it's an old one, but it works because you don't expect it. Mixx Grill: it works because you don't expect it.
 
The Showdown: Marx Brothers would come into the showdown puffing their chests out and fully ready to wipe the floor with Mixx, but they'd leave in tears. They're like the old powerhouse who forgot how to care, while Mixx is a place that understands that sometimes effort and being fundamentally sound is all that matters in a match up. The biggest shocker to date, assuredly.

Fancy Bracket: (3) Club Paris vs. (6) Suite 100

Today in the Fancy Bracket we have a matchup between the king of the five inch tall filet - aka Club Paris - versus south Anchorage's go-to restaurant - Suite 100. This match up brings it all...old school versus new school, beef versus variety, downtown versus uptown. You don't want to miss this showdown between the seasoned vets and a team filled with diaper dandies baby!

Okay, maybe too much Dicky V there.

Club Paris: This is my Duke. Just like when Dick Vitale looks at the brackets and his eyes light up when he sees the Blue Devils, I see Club Paris and think "going all the way baby!" Just like with Duke, Club Paris has been doing the same thing for years upon years and it works so well no one can stop it. No matter if you go in for lunch to have one of their ferociously tasty filet mignon burgers (the inside game for the Dukies) or if you come in for their bread and butter...you know, the butter knife can cut it, your mouth can't handle it tastiness of their filet mignon (the impeccable spacing and three point shot), this place has been doing what it does best better than anyone else for ages. Sure the atmosphere is moderately oppressive and eerily reminiscent of some sort of gulag or third world prison (sort of like Coach K's practices), but the bar is phenomenal and the service is oddly great.

Suite 100:  These guys are kind of like the Memphis teams of the past few years - they completely murder their conference because there is simply no other game in town (ala reasonably priced and good atmosphere from a nicer restaurant in the south side), but when you get to the tourney can they match up? Suite 100 is a solid experience mostly because you can get good food with a pedigree at remarkably decent prices. Rarely do their entrees exceed $30, and you can get a lot of goodness for the $15 to $18 range. That's unheard of in this category, and something that is a huge advantage over everyone else (kind of like Derrick Rose or Tyreke Evans was for Memphis).

But when you get them in against the best, like two years ago against Kansas and last year against Missouri for Memphis, Suite 100 just doesn't match up well.

The Showdown: Just like what happens when Memphis and Duke typically play in the tourney, Suite 100 gets some early buzz because of the exciting nuclear upside of their location, but when you get down to it Club Paris simply out-fundamentals them. Club Paris has three huge advantages: a classic bar, one of the best lunch options on the market, and the best steak in town. Suite 100 just can't hang with that.

Fancy Bracket: (4) Orso Ristorante vs. (5) Glacier Brewhouse

Here we are with the second matchup in the Fancy Bracket, and this showdown is between two sides of the same coin: Orso Ristorante versus Glacier Brewhouse. This matchup is very akin to one where you see two teams from a major conference like the SEC or Big Ten go at it early on, but you ultimately realize that both are non-factors in the grand scale of the tourney. Let's call this the Illinois/Wisconsin game of the tourney.

Orso Ristorante: Orso is definitely the Illinois in this matchup. Illinois teams are typically based around doing a few key things right (being more athletic, streak shooting, defense) and hoping they outweigh the negatives, and that is pretty much Orso's game too. You have a lot to like - an exceptional bar, an attractive and friendly wait staff, solid atmosphere - but you also have a lot that is less than desirable. Their menu is a solid if not forgettable one, filled with all of the classics of what makes a good menu but nothing that really jumps off the page. Plus it is expensive for what you get. Sort of like what happens if you run a perfect pick and roll with a point that can't shoot and an immobile big. Their desserts are a major highlight though, akin to the legacy of guards that throw down daggers at the end of the game like Dee Brown.

Glacier Brewhouse: Just like Wisconsin, Glacier Brewhouse attempts to wear visitors down and bore them to death. While there is nothing wrong with what they do, they just don't do anything that is exciting or anything that jumps off the page. Somewhat predictably my best experience has been with their soup, which makes sense for someone who compares closely to a meat and potatoes team like Wisconsin. This is just a forgettably effective restaurant, and one that I find people go to simply because the perception of quality surrounds it like the legacy of 18 to 22 win teams exists in perpetuity with the Badgers.

One extra note: I also don't really like their beer, which is kind of their claim to fame.

The Showdown: Just like in the dreaded 8/9 matchups Illinois and Wisconsin are always destined to meet up in, ultimately it just means the winner gets to get stomped by the one seed in the next round. While Glacier Brewhouse does everything decently, they don't really do anything very well. Orso has the ability to rise to the occasion, bringing an excellent bar, dessert menu, and wait staff to the table, and while that may not make them a contender for the championship, that's enough to win this matchup.

Fancy Bracket: (1) Simon and Seafort's vs. (8) Ginger

Today we have the first round matchup between 1 seed Simon and Seafort's and 8 seed Ginger in the Fancy bracket, and I'm not going to lie, Vegas has put the odds way in the favor of Simon and Seafort's. Let's go to the tale of the tape and check out our matchup.

Simon and Seafort's: This restaurant has long been a favorite of the classier diners in Alaska, providing a beautiful view of Cook Inlet, quality service, excellent food, and for those that are so inclined, a phenomenal Happy Hour. This is the 2009-2010 Kansas Jayhawks of the tourney - sure, it's the same ol', same ol', but when it works, it works. Just like that team and its pick and roll featuring Sherron Collins and Cole Aldrich, Simon's rolls out their perpetual special of macademia encrusted, crab stuffed halibut to constant success. We know it's coming, but we just can't stop it.

Ginger: Ginger is relatively new to the scene, so they're the perfect contender to be a Cinderella story like Gonzaga always is. Buzz was thunderous upon opening, but since has worked its way into the every day conversation of high quality Anchorage restaurants with their fusion menu and pseudo hip design. While a lot of visitors have labeled it with the dreaded "inconsistent" label, in my experiences I've found it to be delightful, particularly the Baked Sea Scallops Mac and Cheese and the Tom Kha soup. They are like the lineage of effective points that have come out of the Zags, with the Tom Kha soup being the John Stockton of the bunch and the Mac and Cheese being the Dan Dickau.

The Showdown: As much as you want to see the underdog take the win here, when you get down to it good point guard play can never take down a balanced team like the one Simon and Seafort's rolls out. Sorry Ginger, you just happened to get in the way of Alaska's proverbial freight train.

Fancy Bracket Breakdown

We're opening with the Fancy bracket, and we have a range of contenders to decide who the best classy restaurant in Anchorage is. From stalwarts like Simon and Seafort's and Marx Brothers to high upside sleepers like Ginger and Mixx Grill, we have a little something for everyone. Click on the bracket to enlarge, let's see what happens as this bracket and its first round plays out over the next few days. Pay attention because it's going to be a barn burner.