What would your Wu Tang name be?


Ghostface wears WAY more chains than me


Today I found myself in my cubicle, responding to emails, working through spreadsheets, and coming up with brilliant marketing plans (you know...the usual) all the while blaring incredibly awesome Ghostface Killah albums. First off it's pretty hilarious to me that I'm listening to Ghostface's unique brand of hardcore rap while working in cube world (whenever I'd go to warm my coffee, I'd leave my iTunes up and it would be an entire page of "Ghostface Killah" songs which, I'm fairly certain, is grounds for termination in corporate world). But besides that, I found myself really surprised by how dorky these songs were!

As Jada Yuen said in this article for NY Mag, "Wu Tang really seem to connect with dorky white guys," and I think I know why now. I cannot find any actual proof about this, but at one point I'm convinced that Seth Rogen stated that the reason the Wu Tang Clan was so awesome was because they are in to the same things as nerdy white guys. You know, comic books and kung fu.

All these guys love comics (Method refers to himself as Johnny Blaze from time to time - no accounting for taste), but after listening to Ghostface's albums today, I really, really know where the comic book part comes from. The guy refers to himself as Tony Starks for gods' sakes! The guy is constantly making comic references in his songs (in between massive amounts of innuendo and drug references of course), and apparently has even said on record he relates to Tony Stark's need to wear his armor to live because he uses machines to live with his diabetes. This guy is dedicated.

So apparently the main requirements to be a member of the Wu Tang Clan are love for the Shaolin and the Marvel comic universe. Done and done. When do I get to appear on an album? Can I go on their next tour? After seeing them at Bumbershoot 2007 and seeing the million man march of people they had on stage, why exactly can't I be a member? I'm fairly certain most every other person in the Pacific Northwest that evening was a member, so I feel like I should get my shot, especially considering pretty much no one on stage was doing anything besides hyping and acting ridiculous.

I suppose the main reason why I can't join is because I don't have an awesome nickname like Inspectah Deck or Raekwon, but really, how hard is it to come up with an awesome name like that? I'll keep you posted, but you heard it here first: David Harper - Wu Tang Clan member.